No Kids, No Scat, No Piss: A First Amendment Love Story


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Gustavo Lauria

For me going to the United Nations and hearing Doctor Sindi, well, it did feel like the children exploring a pumpkin…and these reasons are central early childhood, cooperation and a better world. And finally, I hope that your children and you carry this hand in the goop, risky and new feeling into your Thanksgiving and holiday and winter so that Maple Street and all of us learn to turn what in a little slimy and uncomfortable or big and new into love, learning and wonder.

So before I begin, I want you to know that writing this speech feels a little like that show Chopped. Have you seen it? Well, you get three ingredients and you have to make something amazing. Before I begin, I would like to offer you some hands on experiential learning during this speech. So, if you would like to try on a wig or touch a worm, please raise your hand. Many people raised their hands, and the wigs and worms were passed and share throughout the rest of the speech. So because I have never spoken about wigs and worms before, I embarked on my typical research process, which usually involves finding a quote or two and then interviewing children.

The quotes were a failure… The wig quotes were really bad about monsters and closets, and the worm quote was that early bird quote over and over. Because we are admittedly not a school of early birds, in fact we could be called the late bird school, I decided to head right for the classroom conversation.

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I did learn one thing in my Google search; there is a lot of rhyming with wig in early childhood: dig, big, fig, and pigs in wigs are a real highlight. So I headed to the classrooms. We talked about wigs and worms, and what I loved the most was that no child thought the two topics together at once was weird at all though the teachers did, and tried to combine them. Kristin mentioned a wig full of worms for a medusa like image. I asked Asa first, and for some reason whenever I ask the first child they shut me down and I have to re-think the whole process.

I have to be honest and authentic and tell you all the truth. I asked Asa what he thought about wigs and worms. Thankfully, Lilly offered a counterpoint immediately. I like to garden with my mom and dig for worms and play with them. And then the love for wigs and worms began, and then when Sorley spoke I got that deep present moment feeling that early childhood is all about; intention and present moment. Preschool is all about exploring, learning something new what you love, and being in the present moment. They are fun and funny, build community make us laugh, and connect us a little more to the earth.

And, sometimes when you are in your own head and in that present moment and feeling like you have the perfect topic, someone throws you off your game. And that is preschool too at its best thinking, divergent thinking, and knowing who we are and what we like. So I wrote that down and continued on my wig worm journey and asked Henry his thoughts on wigs and worms. They are too funny and all hairy.

They like dirt. So back to our list. So our next question is. First of all they are connectors. Wigs connect us to play; the people who wear them. They lead to collaboration, participation, even passion. They let us pretend and dream.

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They are like millipedes but different. Millipedes have so many legs. I saw them at the garden and they were very shy. And third, wigs and worms are transformational. Wigs transform us into who we might want to be even for the moment, and wigs are a metaphor for dress-up and pretend. Worms literally transform the earth; food scraps into nutritional soil, and by their doing so we understand that by participating in the world we can change it and have impact. This is our philosophy, and really brings us back to child and human development.

I have some handouts for you, one on worms, one on wigs, and one on transformational education. You can read them, color them, dress up with them, compost them etc. Finally, I said in the beginning of my speech that wigs and worms could help transform common core and high stakes testing back to critical thinking and experienced based curriculum with the trust, research, engagement, and passion of teachers, families, learners, and policy makers. I know this is a bit of a stretch, but I thought I would throw it in there.

If we trusted teachers, we would let them teach and let them do what is right for their students. For the child development geeks out there like me, trust vs. So, when worms and wigs are played with and studied there is trust there. That is also true of fish, and jungles, and firefighters, and families, and feelings, and art. When these are explored, studied, and played with there is trust there. At Maple Street we trust our teachers, families, and our students to learn and play, to have passion and vision, to research, to assess, to use the tools of accreditation, assessment, play, and learning that are valuable and effective.

Finally, we know that real learning and being happens from our authentic selves whether we are worms, or fish, or parents, or teachers, or wig wearing composting pre-schoolers. This is a speech I gave at Brooklyn Beta , an annual gathering of some of the folks who are changing the world by solving big problems on the web. I am the director of the Maple Street preschool. I am also a good witch, according to my daughter.

I have never spoken to a group of techies, and to start, I thought about the similarities of our lives…and imparting some magic. Perhaps you are familiar with Kickstarter, the largest platform that raises funds to put forth ideas, creative projects, and hopefully joy, beauty, goodness, kindness, and happy people.

A Kidstarter: raising ideas that children think of and express putting forth coziness, care, love, awkwardness, and play. For this Kidstarter here today, I wanted to tell you about a couple of classrooms full of deeply creative and surprising ideas that would help to show you how we at Maple Street think, feel, and create. You know, or know of, a few of them I would predict. My assistants today are two of them. We the kid-idea-o-philes can be teachers, parents, directors, caregivers, therapists, fairies, or really anyone, like perhaps Bill Cosby as depicted in the show Kids Say the Darnedest Things from the late nineties.

The way you run a Kidstarter is that you walk into a place with kids. I am not suggesting you go to Prospect Park and start interviewing kids randomly. They have a special loud silverware-banging rolly-pollying running-around way of making themselves known. So for my Kidstarter I began by asking our children what I should speak about at a really big, really fun meeting. This is a really big fun meeting. A Kidstarter is completed and the goal is reached when the grown-ups pay attention to the gifts of children, when they receive them. Let me give you some examples.

Remember the way to do a Kidstarter; we just walk into a classroom and state that we are interested in their ideas. So I did. There was a group of 5 or so children finishing up their snacks. So here I go, a little about myself. I am a preschool director. Preschool can get tough and messy with poop, snot, biting, 50 children dancing around playing and singing and laughing and gurgling and turning and falling and sprawling and getting Band-Aids and hugs. There are a million billion trillion emails, humongous-ly mad-faced parents, and confusing monstrosities of bureaucracies.

Preschool is tough and messy the way life is, so now you know a little about me.


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I am tough and messy. I want to continue with my Kidstarter, and in a Kidstarter if you want really strong ideas you go to the block area. Blocks get kids started. A beautiful princess who speaks Iceland. So when I first began as a Kidstarter, I thought about individual children and the classroom and then over time I began to think more of the whole community, all the children, all the adults, everyone parents, siblings, grandparents, childcare providers, custodians, all of our friends and people in our neighborhood.

I have been working at Maple Street for thirteen years; long enough to have a Bat Mitzvah! And I began studying rituals and surprises about a year ago; writing about them, practicing them, loving them…and today is the first time I am talking about them, so it feels really special like my own ritual and surprise Bat Mitzvah. There is stand-up comedy on Mondays, and formal Fridays, often with a guest chef and live music.

I noticed when the two interacted there was this magic joyous community feeling. Rituals connect everyone; make you feel safe and part of a community. Surprises keep us fresh! They make the rituals relevant and fun, and at their best, promote a culture of kindness, anti-oppression, and happy people. So back to my Kidstarter. I went over to the water table; a table full of water, sometimes with props like shells, and this time it was dinosaurs. The children were playing and studying how water moves and changes. Children, as you can hear, collaborate and innovate easily, and when we reflect on that, we too can transform things.

I was a little surprised, but I understood. I also thought her job was perfect for her. She did a little stand up when parents and caregivers came in, emailed with 3 year olds when they were feeling sad or mad, and made everyone feel part of the community. I explained this to her, that her job was right and that she could do it more fully and insert more creativity and laughter in it, and that we could do anything. Maggie began emailing me instantly with band ideas for the lobby. We served coffee and baked goods got a Yelp!

We also created soda fountain with cool hats, and served flavored seltzer this summer. We have had surprise trombone parades, a free original art sale, a diaper-wearing preschool comedian, board meetings with 4 year olds, spirit animal parties, traveling willaby wallaby madrigal singers, a superhero belt study disco party, and a two year old spa day. We have a lot of artists, musicians, and theater people on our staff, and in our grown up body that are essential in inventing and producing our rituals and surprises.

When grownups learn, kids learn more…and the best surprises turn into rituals when grownups ask when the next Cafe Le Maple is happening. Rituals and surprises transform things, just like Henry said I should talk about transformers. A few more things about me, while I am a fan of learning to be on task, I am a bigger fan of divergent thinking. Because it is super fun having that crazy idea pop in your head, sharing it and doing it. I am getting married to no one, and no one is gonna be there not my mom and dad. So here we go. So now for a quick practice in Kidstarter rituals and surprises, turn to the people sitting next to you and tell them what your head is made of, and why.

So, before I finish, when Chris and Cameron asked me to speak, they asked me if I had any problems that needed solving in the world. The first thing that came to mind was to ask you all to please take that beautiful, silver, flat, Mac Apple, and turn into a juicy delicious tasty one; your favorite kind, Golden Delicious, Mutsu, Granny Smith, where children and their grownups can taste the sweetness point out the bruises and experience the grit. Write an app about your passions, but play with it so deeply that there is a Kidstarter there, whether it is your kid, a kid you know, or yourself as a kid years ago.

What is mostly out there now was not started by kids, it is not creative, it is consumptive. I am happy to talk to all of you. You can help me turn a community supported agriculture curricula into an app, or I can find you people who tell trickster stories, create songs about cows and sea stars and cumulus clouds every day, and study artists so deeply that when you go into a class, everyone has decided they want to look like Frida Kahlo and has special painted eyebrows.

I want to end by thanking you all for being Kidstarters, and for being you and whatever your head is made of. I want to thank you for joining me in rituals and surprises! I want to thank Chris and Cameron and Juliette and Jeremy for having me speak. I want to thank Maggie and Marisa and Zoe, who is not here, for helping me; all for all Maple Street kids and all their grownups, every single one.

Finally, when you leave a big happy meeting, which could also be called a party if you are a kid, you expect a goody bag. So Kidstarters, here is a goodie bag of surprises. It is magic, or so the preschoolers say, and it may be powerful. Enjoy it, throw it, create something with it, Instagram it, or take a bath in it, or do whatever you do for creating joy!

Every day…or most days…I hear that preschool costs as much as college. I went to hear Ken Robinson the other night. He is an education guru-knight and he said our lives are not linear, most of us do not do what we studied in college, and he discussed a study of majors of Silicon Valley. The majors, philosophy, psychology, etc. My guess though, is that preschool does relate more to our lives than college majors.

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Preschool matters because we create who we want to be, not just what we want to study. Then we nurture it, grow it, sing it, dance it, and celebrate it. I want to celebrate the teachers, the Board, the cooperative and all of our friends that support us by acknowledging that you matter. You matter to me as much as college. You matter to me as much as preschool. We also want to treat our preschool teachers as well as our college professors and raise funds to send them to Puerto Rico, and Sweden, and Kenya, and Zimbabwe and NYC to research and learn about early childhood through the world forum foundation and other learning and growing opportunities.


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We also want to raise funds to provide financial aid to more children from diverse racial, economic and family backgrounds who need a high quality, creative, joyful preschool like Maple Street. We want to raise funds, and I want to thank you for agreeing with me that yes, college costs a lot and so does preschool, and they matter because our hearts go into them as does our labor, all so that all of our children can flourish. So perhaps the next time we say or hear preschool costs as much as college, we remember our tushies are clean, our faces are wiped, we have sang silly songs, learned about birds, and subway trains, and New York families from all over the world.

We have used our words, expressed our feelings and shared. About a month ago I stepped into the classroom; a powerful three year old was very upset. This is rare because as you know, most of my work is is done amidst tears, hugs, laughter, boogers, potty talk, play dough, outer space, dress up, and dance parties. I watched as the teachers helped him sponge up his juice, and dry up his tears. He pulled himself together making us all feel a little better. His breathing did that sighing, crying, sighing, crying, sigh, sigh, sigh thing, and then he went back to chewing fruit snacks and outer space super hero conversation.

Surprisingly, I got a little nervous then. I am a spiller. I spill milk, juice, water, wine…. When I open my seltzer, no matter how gentle I am, it explodes, and I surrender to watching the geysers and cleaning up the spills. I continued on the with the spilling conversations, trying to make myself feel better. I then thought of my morning at home and how I knocked over the coffee beans somehow when I pulled out the restaurant sized bag, and they scattered everywhere. It smelled wonderful. I said a bad word and swept them up.

There is no denial, though I try to look forward, be aware, and pay attention to gravity. My spilling has gotten worse this year as I have had some inner ear issues. At this point I was nervous; the kind where you imagine everything not good happening, spilling everywhere all over and everyone pointing at you. I smiled looked over at Barbara, our art teacher-storyteller-matriarch, to try to feel better. You do? I began to observe and interview everyone, becoming an anthropologist on spilling from the toddlers who intentionally dump to the most professional parents who never ever even have any evidence of spills, stains, or messy children in their lives.

I swayed back and forth with this new identity, noticing my extra care with beverages, and my imperfections. At this point, I really, really wanted someone to be like me, to agree with me, even to spill with me. Then I asked Julia our afterschool director. Her answer made me feel a little better. I am not that naive. Then finally, yesterday a little boy — the same one who pours stuff outside — spilled, or poured, his milk out four times at lunch.

I went over and cleaned it with him, and cleaned it with him, and cleaned it with him, and cleaned it with him. I had found another spiller. I watched him all day; the way he engaged the world with words, noticed the complicated shapes on the ceiling, and loved his friends so hard that they fell over. Once with the boy who was a spiller, because that was part of his beauty, his special needs and his specialness.

And once, the most for Maple Street because I know it is a place where spillers, and hard huggers, and criers, and stompers, and spinners thrive. We are not standardized here at Maple Street, we are humans here; children and grown ups with flaws, differences, and strengths, trying not spill and finding the beauty in it.

Maybe you are a spiller, a hard hugger, a crier, a stomper, a spinner or something else? I still worry about being a spiller. I hold my cup tightly and look in front of me, and at the stairs, and I know like Julia said, we are great, we get to clean it up as a big group. When you take a tour of Maple Street School and look around, you will see a lot of Brooklyn there, and a lot of the world. Some of this is in the commitment of our board and cooperative to provide financial aid and to invest, through time and money, in our school so more children from families with low incomes can attend.

And some of this is in small and large gestures, threads of learning and practice, that teach us new ways to see and be our children, families, teachers, staff, community and the world. So when I am giving a tour of our school, I am often asked how do you define diversity? I do provide some of the deeply important, changing, and always-missing-someone list of lesbian gay bisexual, and transgender families, gender-fluid children, single parent families, race, income level, access to resources, culture, language, religion, ethnicity, family makeup, adoptive families, families with special needs and more.

I agreed to not celebrate these days and then was met with a lot of resistance from the cooperative and families, and did not know what to do. I could not hold up my agreement, and apologized to this family knowing I backed out of my promise. What I learned from this is that my voice is a strong voice in this cooperative. But it is not the only voice.

I know in the future this could change again and again with more learning for all of us. Additionally perhaps there are practices, holidays, language that I or we have not noticed yet that can become more inclusive and reflective of our school. This does not mean allowing all kinds of behavior, but having the capacity to love and care for all the children and families that come to and through our school. It means reflecting on our own upbringing and sometimes surrendering to a different kind of behavior, teaching, style or more.

Then I watched as families and children fell in love with her idioms, culture and style, and I fell deeply in love too. When we hear something we are not used to, we must ask ourselves does this child or grown up feel good and loved, and not just whether teachers and children are acting like we expect them too. We all are nurturing each other. When someone in our community feels unsafe, it is our job to help them. This can be a child feeling teased or unincluded, a parent feeling like their issue is minimized, a teacher feeling vulnerable, or an administrator feeling isolated.

The work of early childhood has risk in it and caring for each other through policy, practice, communication, and compassion is necessary to thrive. I announce on tours that children at Maple Street School can be whoever they would like to be, as different as they want to be. They can wear dresses, or superhero clothes, or change their name to Thor, or Supergirl or Princess Awesome.

Adults can dress up too, and I have seen astronauts, clowns, superheroes and more over the years. About two weeks ago, a parent returned to Maple Street after many years. Her children are eleven, nine, and a new two. She explained to me that her daughter has been invited to her first Bat Mitzvah. Then I explained that we were not going to Barmitzvah our children because we were not religious and it did not resonate as did travel and other special things. This is a lot of words, and I am a diversity and inclusion learner like you.

I am a white Jewish woman growing older, slowly tripping and falling often here at Maple Street, and getting up each time knowing that my accountability and vision, along with yours, can shift Maple Street into what we imagine together. First I wanted to thank each of you for choosing Maple Street School for your child and family. I also want to thank you for committing to our cooperative model, and the labor of love we participate in to create and support a diverse and creative learning and playing school for our children.

I had started a speech on reflection, and then read a quote by Loris Malaguzzi, an early childhood hero from the Reggio Emilio philosophy. He said,. Stand aside for a while and leave room for learning, observe carefully what children do, and then, if you have understood well, perhaps teaching will be different from before. This was it; standing back, and making space, and leaving room for learning and conversation. I walked out with my notebook, and listened to this important question and the answers that were important, deeply interesting, wonderful and humorous.

The answers are a unique lens into what children see and feel. I will share them with you, and then of course in the coop spirit, I am going to ask for help turning this subject into a short film for orientation next year. So parents and children can hear about separation directly from those who have experience it. I continued down to the Roots, and most of them were napping, though a few had something to say. Henry W.

Eva then explained that her mom is teaching children and that her dad is in Manhattan and she does not know what he is doing. So I am adding that for her. Did you know that? Do you know how to spell Gap, let me get my shoe, here it is Gap. I can spell mom and Gap. Leo and Theo then had a discussion about where their moms were, and decided that they were working and writing notes. Daddy went on the train. He is on the seat. Not yet. So how is teaching different from before with this knowledge of what children do and say, besides knowing that all of you are working and shopping?

It is different in that when we reflect on how children experience the world with them, we grow deeper into our learning both as individuals and as a school. We can separate children better. Make a video, engage in meaningful conversations. We know what they need from us; to explain where mommies and mamas and dads go. We can add to their experience. Find out about what families do and where they go that is the same and different such as the train, shopping etc. We can add to curriculum and have fun with it. Skype with parents during the day, create a work or office in our classroom, pull things apart like a computer.

We can build our organization by reflecting on the thoughts of all of our learners in it, from our very youngest to all of you. If your child has separated fully, have a conversation about what you do all day when you leave, and then perhaps turn it around and wonder what they do all day, and you may find out when you leave, we are shopping, pulling things a part, making games, and writing books and making movies too. Sometimes in pre-school and in life, we choose themes to study such as, self, autumn, fairytales, the human body or Jazz. Other times in pre-school, and life, themes seem choose us.

This summer, the theme that has been choosing me has been rhythm. I remember when it first chose me. I was at the Orchard School in New Hampshire for Sankofa drum and dance camp and the drum teacher Saleem, was beating the drum as he compared it to the maternal heart beat we all heard even before we were born. The pom pom pom then expanded and I began listening to the rhythms around me, and observing the daily rhythms of the children and grown-ups at the Orchard School, Maple Street, Brooklyn and beyond.

The theme of rhythm brought be back to when I first began teaching at the Maple Street school. I was introduced to a circle of children singing, and two wise women Barbara and Jackie. As we chanted greetings to the morning and each other, often a child would wander off, cuddle up, hum, tickle a friend, or stay absolutely still. I would look over for guidance at my wise women, and they would say or nod in unison he or she has their own special rhythm. I would watch and listen to the rhythms at Maple Street, the boy who is now sixteen and six feet tall lining up small jungle animals carefully, the little one who was two who knocked down blocks and fell asleep in the corner, and the older girl who was giving advanced lectures on paleontology.

Each had their own rhythm.

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I noticed rhythm then, but did not realize how much rhythm matters. Sometimes we are speeding up or slowing down, meeting them where they are at, and adding energy, or relaxing breath. We arrive at restaurant and look forward to a cool drink, an appetizer, and a grown up conversation as our kids play a horrific game of hide and seek almost knocking over the table and the waiter. Our evening turns into dissonant flop of spilt food, halted conversations, whining tantrums, and a better plan for a picnic. If we really missed the beat, we might say I am never taking these children out to a restaurant again ever or until they are grown!

We might threaten to sign them up for manners school, which at that point we need more than they need. Often even after a night of chaos, our rhythms do find a way back together, and steady. This happens we breathe in, spend some time alone, take a bath, or read a story. We are slowing down, and finding a similar tempo. Children, and especially children with special or sensory needs have a hard time finding a keeping a comfortable steady beat to the world. This year, it is my hope to observe more children and family rhythms than ever before, to follow their beats, and to honor them.

I watched my mentor Eleanor and her teachers doing that this summer, often slowing down to greet a child with autism, or to watch bees creating a new hive, or to give a mama bird space, or speeding up on bikes and trampolines a trampoline is kind of a giant drum for a human. Also, in studying rhythm, I hope to slow down my beat a little through meditation and mindfulness, and begin practicing with my own internal drum.

So far, I have rediscovered horseback riding and a long sunset boat ride. He is 14 and we would go to the pond each day after camp. The other children would quickly dive into the pond and swim to the dock. After thought — Finally, my hope is to be able to share theories and practice on the themes that choose us. Please share the rhythm of your family or teaching practice, and together we can join in a drum circle of life.

Log in Home. March 21, By Jenna Shapiro. How should we take care of ourselves: Take some time out. This was a clear direction from a couple children in the Chipmunks and Squirrels two and three year old class. Find a mommy or daddy or someone that helps. Mommies, daddies and other caregivers and friends came up often as a way to take care of ourselves. I asked Mila and Jessie how they take care of themselves. There were lots of ideas for playing and building no real walls please.

And Ysabelle age 4 stated, When I take care of myself, I play with rings and stuff.

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This group is not a fully literate group yet and they do dig books. Counting, I have been there, when you are just so stressed and you are not sure what to do. Rumi, age two said it in a much more joyful way. This might be the secret to self-care in the current moment or forever for year-olds. I am not sure if Elise is a stuffed animal or a person. This seems like a viable option for some people as a self-tool. Just be. This tool for self and community care may be under used by grown-ups but in the pre-school set, it is common and highly regarded. This is an underused and understudied.

This may seem like an obvious technique for self and community care and it is important. If we get hurt and climb on things, it could get worse…we could get more worried. Just do this shrug shoulders, give a mean look and silence. Milo age 4 , introduced and explained it to me I just do this shrug shoulders, give a mean look and silence.

This technique explained by Liv is used universally by all ages and culture. The transplanted Texan has made his views on Democrats, immigrants, minorities and the 2nd Amendment painfully clear many times over, to the point that his right-wing blowhard act is getting as tired as his music. He's become so predictable that it's getting hard to work up much distaste for his antics, let alone outrage. And frankly, that's no fun. That's why we here at Rocks Off have done the Nuge a solid and pulled an age-old music biz trick to out of the hat to revive a little interest -- the greatest hits package!

Well, because that's virtually all of the entertainment we can wring out of the guy these days -- watching and waiting to see when he'll stoop to a new low. Louis in , Nugent was doing his usual shtick, advocating guns for all and a Democrat-free government. Surrounded by his closest allies in the fight against non-Nugentness, Ted reached deep into his sack of hyperbole and pulled out an apparently solemn vow that he intended to inspire his fellow heat-packers to get Obama out of office: Via the voting booth, preferably, but by any means necessary.

It was probably the nicest thing the Nuge said about the president all week. This time, though, the violent connotations of his statement were enough to get the Secret Service interested in just how seriously Ted takes this stuff. The Homeland Security agency took time out of its busy schedule to meet with Nugent and gently remind him that while political criticism is protected speech, threatening the president with violence is highly illegal. Shockingly, Nugent did not make good on his totally credible promise to take up arms and fight on until death or prison upon Obama's reelection.

Then again, as the Secret Service concluded, his words are pretty meaningless. Ted's Inhuman Remarks It's no secret that Ted Nugent enjoys hobnobbing with politicians, or that politicians enjoy hobnobbing with virtually any celebrity who can draw a crowd.

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That's why Texas candidate for governor Greg Abbott decided having Ted around on the primary season campaign trail would be a barrel full of laughs for all involved. Abbott found out the hard way, however, that Nugent's talent for publicity can be something of a double-edged sword. In an interview with Guns. Now, if you're thinking that "subhuman mongrel" sounds like the kind of racist bullshit that the KKK would have to say about Barack, you'd be dead wrong. Even the Klan realizes that people might find that sort of language off-putting in You'd have to go back at least to the violent, vigilante Klan of the s to the term "subhuman mongrel" used in public.

Now might be a cool time to mention that in , Ted told the Detroit Free Press that South African apartheid "isn't that cut-and-dry. All men are not created equal. In deference to Abbott's campaign, Nugent eventually apologized for the mongrel remark, which he claimed straight face and everything! He did not back off the suggestion, obviously, that perhaps Obama should suck on his machine gun. As is well-known, he likes guns a lot, and judging by his USO tours, he likes soldiers, too even some of the brownish ones, probably. So it's no surprise that ol' Ted passionately advocates for their usage in violently exterminating all of America's enemies, real and imagined, the world over.

He just ain't about to join them, even if he has to piss and shit in his pants for a fucking week to get out of it. Nah, seriously. In , the Nuge told High Times that he shat his pants on the daily in order to fail his physical and dodge the draft during the Vietnam War. And to hear him tell it, it was pretty ugly:. Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer -- stuff I never touched-- buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I'd drink the syrup. I was this side of death. Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom.

I did it in my pants. Poop, piss, the whole shot. My pants got crusted up. Hey, it wasn't like Ted was the only guy who got creative in order to stay out of Vietnam. We won't judge him too harshly for that. And Reagan knows, he could just be lying about the whole thing! But given the hypocritical light this little incident casts on his super-patriot warhawk persona, his pants may as well be full of shit today. World's Greatest Dad Weird thing about rock stars in the '70s: for whatever reason, they could have tons of sex with underage fans, and nobody tried to stop them.

No Kids, No Scat, No Piss: A First Amendment Love Story No Kids, No Scat, No Piss: A First Amendment Love Story
No Kids, No Scat, No Piss: A First Amendment Love Story No Kids, No Scat, No Piss: A First Amendment Love Story
No Kids, No Scat, No Piss: A First Amendment Love Story No Kids, No Scat, No Piss: A First Amendment Love Story
No Kids, No Scat, No Piss: A First Amendment Love Story No Kids, No Scat, No Piss: A First Amendment Love Story
No Kids, No Scat, No Piss: A First Amendment Love Story No Kids, No Scat, No Piss: A First Amendment Love Story

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